Love. Pyar. Mohabbat. Ashiqui. When you fall in love the very first time, everything seems different, wonderful...the world suddenly seems a better place. Having someone who cares for you, who cheers for you is wonderful and the feeling is priceless. But the concept of love is a muddled one and one that keeps changing with your life experiences, as you grow.
Is it necessary to fall in love? Well, a lot of us are in love with the idea of being in love. Someone to talk to all the time, someone to care for, someone who cares for you. But often when love, especially first loves are accompanied by heartbreaks, you end up wondering if it was worth it. Reminds me of a monologue I watched where the speaker compared love to jumping into sea...without knowing how to swim and then wondering if that was necessary? The thing about love is, it may not be an absolute essential to your existence, but it does make your existence more pleasant. And someday, when you look back at all those moments you had together you will realize that yes, it was worth it and yes, you absolutely HAD to jump in, whether you knew how to swim or not, because he who has never taken a dip in the ocean will always look at it wistfully and wonder what it beholds.
But love, never comes without its best friend, heartbreak. Heartbreaks happen. Period. People grow apart and you realize your forever was just 24 months, 3 days and 18 hours. They become your ex, then your email password, then a friend of facebook and then...slowly...nothing. but this transition from forever to nothing hurts like hell. You will feel your whole world has come crumbling down and you will oscillate between anger, grief and many many WTF moments. Your friends will make you feel better... Your ex will suddenly become a “Loser” or a “Witch” with a B and you will laugh at their pointless jokes and down a few beers, but, when they wrap up for the night and after you foot the bill...you will still stalk their status on whatsapp, check their facebook and visit their instagram. Because...love shove hai yaar…oh sorry tha… then time will heal you, in its own time. You will learn to respect the past, remember it for the good times, and move on. And...most importantly, fall in love again. Because, love is beautiful and only love and time can mend a broken heart.
Speaking of love, does it happen only once? Not necessarily. You can find love in different people at different stages of life. But, in the end, it is all about finding that one person whose hand will be in yours at every stage of life. It is up to you to find that person. Will you find out easily? Heck no! You will break your heart or and a few other’s in the process before you find your answers. What is true love anyway? Does it even exist? Well, sorry to break your bubble, but there is no such thing as true love. Love is love. If feelings didn't exist then it wasn't love in the first place. The term true love in itself is redundant and meaningless.
When you are young love is all about that person who makes your heart beat faster, whose kiss makes you forget the world, who, you would do anything to please and who you want around you all the time. At this stage, it is all about the roses, gifts, movies, fancy dinners and the dates. As you grow older, and hopefully wiser, you will realize that love is, in fact, none of that. You will learn to appreciate the familiarity and comfort that love brings. It won't be about dressing up for someone, but about being able to be yourself with them. It won't be about fragrant flowers but about someone who takes the trash out for you in the morning so you can sleep in a little late. It won't be about sex, though that is important, but what will matter more to you will be having that one person who stays true to you unconditionally irrespective of how often you get to meet. Love, eventually, ceases to be those long romantic shona-babu phone calls and matures into drab conversations about aloo and bhindi and about the bitch at work and the asshole of a boss that you have, but it is still love. Love is not the fancy carriage Cinderella rode, it is the pumpkin that is left of it after 12 am. It is not about who the glass slipper fits, but about loving those feet even after they expand to a size 12.
So is that it? Is it just about finding that one person? No, wait... There is more to this picture. Remember that love is just a part of your life...albeit a very important part, but a part nevertheless and love, is not your whole life. Also don't forget, there are people who love you anyway, what you may not find from the person you expect, you may find from someone who you never knew even existed. And last, you need to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. In truth, only you can love yourself unconditionally. There will be times when even the ones closest to you won’t understand or be able to love you the way you want them to. And that's when you need to have enough love within yourself to feel worth it all.
Love is beautiful. It makes life beautiful. See it for what it is and when you come across it, just don't let go...but if you have to...let it fly away and you will find another hand to hold, which will not give up on you no matter how dark the night or how hot the sun.
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